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Thurston: My Liege! We are honored by your presence. Welcome to the best knight-training program in all the kingdoms!
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Ruler: What a splendid group of squires! I had no idea there were so many!
Thurston: Indeed, they are all most excellent... or almost all.
Ruler: Almost? Surely, you don't doubt their convictions already?
Thurston: Well, er... there is one squire who spends rather too much time in the library for my taste.
Ruler: There is nothing wrong with an intelligent knight, Thurston.
Thurston: Of course not, my Liege! It is only... perhaps you could speak to this would-be-knight? yes! Inspire the squire to spend as much time with a sword as with a book!
Ruler: Very well, Thurston. I shall visit the library.
Ruler: I am only here as a favor to Thurston. He is training young squires, you see, and I am here to inspire one toward great deeds!
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Old Thomas: A squire, you say? Hmm... I know of no young man wandering my stacks. There is only myself and Dim Duncan the janitor and... Oh, there is sometimes little Gemma, the miller's daughter!
Ruler: And I suppose *she* could never be a squire?
Old Thomas: Well, ah... that is to say... there is no precedent for a *lady* knight!
Ruler: All the same, I shall speak to this miller's daughter.
Old Thomas: Of course, Young Ruler! Gemma is usually found among the tomes. she has a great fondness for knightly adventures and fairy tales.
Ruler: Thomas! I could not find Gemma, but I did find this old book...
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Old Thomas: What is it, then? Ah, *A Plushy Knight's Tale*! Yes, this is a classic. A children's story about a teddy bear who discovers a magical sword!
Ruler: A teddy bear? Who becomes a knight?
Old Thomas: And I suppose a *teddy bear* could never be a knight?
Ruler: Well, ah... that is to say... there is no precedent for a teddy bear knight!
Old Thomas: I suppose not. At any rate, it is only a fairy tale.
Ruler: Thomas... what if young Gemma believes this book to be more than a simple story?
Old Thomas: Oh, dear. Then I imagine she would follow the path that the Plushy Knight took.
Ruler: And where would that path lead her?
Old Thomas: Into the forest... at night.
Ruler: Oh, dear.
Gemma: Hello, there! You look familiar.
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Ruler: Yes, I kind of... rule this kingdom.
Gemma: Oh, right. That's nice work, if you can get it, I suppose.
Ruler: Are you Gemma, the miller's daughter?
Gemma: Well, that's a rather patriarchal question, isn't it?
Ruler: I beg your pardon!
Gemma: Look, would you mind helping me with something? I need these flowers, you see. You see, the Plushy Knight only became a true knight when he got an enchanted sword. And you only get an enchanted sword from enchanted flowers! Petals to be exact.
Ruler: Is that really how it works?
Gemma: I man, I'm working with legend here. There's only one way to find out.
Gemma: You know... I think we have enough petals.
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Ruler: Oh, thank goodness.
Gemma: Now we just need a blacksmith. You know, someone to forge a sword.
Ruler: Right, that's logical. Though I don't know of many enchanted smiths. ...maybe we can just use the Magic Forge
Gemma: It worked! Holy hotsprings, it really worked!
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Ruler: Hmm... I did not see that coming.
Gemma: Behold! The Plushy Knight's Sword -- weapon of legend, slayer of slayers, foer of foes! No one will say I can't be a knight with this in my hand!
Ruler: Wait... who said you couldn't be a knight?
Gemma: Well, you know... there's no precedent.
Ruler: What... was that?
Gemma: Oh, it's probably the Frizzly Bears!
Ruler: Frizzly Bears?
Gemma: Well, in the story, forging the enchanted sword summons a horde of angry Frizzly Bears.
Gemma: Whoa... this is a really good sword.
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Ruler: You fought bravely, Gemma. But remember, a sword alone does not defeat a horde of angry Frizzly Bears.
Gemma: You're right... good thing it's an ENCHANTED sword!
Ruler: No! That's not what I...
Gemma: I can't wait to show this thing to Moffrey! He's going to soil his small clothes.
Ruler: Moffrey? Was it he who told you that you could not become a knight?
Gemma: Yeah, he's a *real* squire. he's got a practice sword and a tabard and everything!
Ruler: Hmm... I think I shall have a word with this Moffrey.
Moffrey: It was only a matter of time before I was summoned to court! Royalty knows excellence! The ruler probably wants to make me a knight already.
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Ruler: Is that what you think, young squire?
Moffrey: Hello, mighty monarch! I am Moffrey, First of My Name!
Ruler: Right, you're the one telling little girls they can't become knights.
Moffrey: Well, ah... that is to say...
Ruler: Yes, yes. There's no precedent. I'm getting rather tired of that excuse! Tell me, Moffrey, do you know how a ruler chooses a knight?
Moffrey: Um... a jousting tourney?
Ruler: No. I mean... okay, yes, sometimes. But even a tourney winner must work for the good of the kingdom.
Moffrey: So a knight must... slay monsters and stuff?
Ruler: That's one way to be of service, but it's hardly the only...
Moffrey: Then I shall slay you a hundred monsters, my mighty monarch!
Ruler: Perhaps that number is overly ambitious
Gemma: Behold! I am the greatest squire in the land!
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Moffrey: The only reason you slayed more monsters than me is because of that sword!
Gemma: An enchanted sword only comes to *she* who is worthy, Moffrey!
Moffrey: I already talked to my father, and he's buying me an enchanted sword for my nameday!
Ruler: Gemma, were you just taunting young Moffrey?
Gemma: Well... you know, he's been on my list for a while. Like right at the top!
Ruler: That is no excuse. A knight is strong. A knight is brave. A knight is honorable. But a knight is never petty.
Gemma: Yeah... I guess you're right. It's just...
Gemma: That sounds like FRIZZLY BEARSSS!!!
Ruler: Oh, not again!
Thurston: My Liege! Wander not into the fray. I have already lost my helm to those dread beasts!
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Gemma: Whew... I think I got the last one.
Thurston: Last one? What do you mean *you* got the last one?
Gemma: Slayed? Slew? Is it slayed or slew?
Ruler: Gemma, a knight does not gloat.
Gemma: Right. Sorry, Sir Thurston.
Thurston: Yes, well, you are to be commended, Squire Gemma. Your actions have saved the Kingdom from a great peril.
Gemma: Yeah, good think I had my enchanted sword!
Thurston: About that... do you realize the Plushy Knight's Sword attracts the Frizzly Bears?
Gemma: Aw, man... I guess I'll have to give it up, huh?
Ruler: That is for you to decide, Gemma. The sword came to you, and only you can relinquish it.
Gemma: Alright. Here, just take it.
Thurston: I'll just be returning this to the mysterious meadow.
Thurston: Squire Gemma, not anyone may become a knight... But a knight may be anyone; a boy, a girl, or even a teddy bear! That is the moral of the Plushy Knight's Tale: a knight is not defined by swords or armor... A knight must be strong and brave and honest and honorable. young Moffrey is no more entitled to those qualities than you. Thus, it is with great honor that I bestow up you this Knight's Writ... Signifying that I think you will one day become a GREAT KNIGHT!
Gemma: Wow! Thank you, Sir Thurston!
Thurston: Don't mention it. also, the scroll is good for half-off a meal at the Homely Henry's House of Haggus! Enjoy!