The rearranging would certainly throw off the more "casual part neighbors" who just send any random thing they want at you, including useless things like the starting block and relay batons. It's more of a neighbor issue, since they either clearly don't realize that this is not a new part needed for the current goal items and has been there for quite some time already and/or they just don't understand that not all parts are created equal, and will just gift anything up to and including dragon scales.
Only choice is to ask the neighbor to please only gift said goal parts/basic parts or just remove them. The one gifting cappuccino can't really be blamed on the rearranging either, they were probably just itching to gift food for whatever reason. If you're no longer "compatible" with them, then best thing to do is to just remove and carry on, hopefully finding other like minded neighbors who will gift the way that you would prefer. There's way too many "fish" in the sea to let it get you down....and TL probably won't change the order since dragon scale has been in the front FOREVER for no good reason, so no other choices really.