how to not offend others

[pops1972]

There are so many ways to unintentionally offend others in this game. For example quitting your game and then not going back to decline New neighbor request. Or not posting on walls when you tip. Or posting on some walls. Who knows, maybe your next bad neighbor could be suffering from a painful loss just trying to keep their minds off of it. It's like when we used to let our dog roam until the neighbors dog started stealing our shoes from the porch. We just didn't get it yet. And the people posting sarcastic remarks on our walls. Its ok. They just haven't gotten it yet.

[pinkster73]

Don't stress too much about it. There's lots of people out there who aren't easily offended (like me :))

[pops1972]

Is it possible to wake others up when you tip or posting?

[gitten]

I do feel bad when I don't post that I've sent a goal request. I always send every request that I receive. Sometimes when I have a lot and feel pressure to get requests sent or if I am in "frantic" mode to finish visiting, gifting and taking care of my places. Some times I just get overwhelmed trying to finish. I have great neighbors and know that they will send a request so it doesn't bother me if they don't post ( but they usually do) and my requests are usually the first item checked off. Thanks all!!

[pinkster73]

Is it possible to wake others up when you tip or posting?

Maybe if they get notifications. But that isn't your problem. Don't worry.

[mimidori]

If they set notification for these it might. But that's because they want to respond immdiately, not your fault :)
Isn't it a good thing easily offended people get offended quickly and leave?

[pops1972]

What are some other ways to not offend others? I would die if I was waking my poor neighbors out of there sleep.

[Jonezy93]

Me either.

[pinkster73]

What are some other ways to not offend others? I would die if I was waking my poor neighbors out of there sleep.

Really, don't worry so much. Just speak politely when you post. Anything else is not a big deal. If people are that easily offended, you don't want them as neighbors.

[pinkster73]

What are some other ways to not offend others? I would die if I was waking my poor neighbors out of there sleep.

It's their choice to have notifications or not. No connection to you.

[bobbyrae]

Never fear. There are so many other people who want to be neighbours that if someone deletes you or you delete someone you will never have a lack of new neighbours.

[SmokeyMtnGirl]

I don't always post on walls when I tip. I figure they can go into the news and see who left tips. I do that all the time.
I post silly stuff on walls sometimes but am pretty sure the ppl know I am kidding. I have never left anything ment to be mean. And personally, I have some really tough stuff I am dealing with right now. Talked to one neighbor and asked them not to dump me if I miss a couple of days. You never know what people are dealing with. I try to be nice to every one. And would never intentionally be mean to anybody. And Yes I get the notifications but the little brinnngggg doesn't wake me up. And even if I hear it it doesn't wake me up enough to actually wake me up. Heck, I have a hard time waking up enough to turn my alarm off in the mornings to get up and get ready for work.
*Be nice to everyone cause right now I think everyone is having a hard time.

[firephotoguy]

one should always try to tip neighbors, gut when you got 250, it becomes difficult to reach everyone.posting that you tipped should be an option. some of work, and don't live 24/7 for the game.
HaPpY ThOuGhTs :-)

[orchidchick]

I've been playing for over a year and used to post when I tipped, now I tip when I can, try to gift daily and very rarely post. I tip back to all my neighbors and try to tip others. There are literally thousands and thousand of players in these games and I play as much as I can without ignoring my family/work. I can't worry about being offended/offending, if I did I'd be playing every second of the day instead of just a mere few hours.

[starstar2]

Everybody got their own way of playing.
There is no best or ideal way of playing that will not offend people.
Just play the way as it is, treat all with due respect that u want others to treat u too.
And it will be nearly perfect already.

Is true that there are many neighbours outside that play very differently.
But if you feel that you can't align to it, u can remove neighbours n delete msgs.

Overall this is a game to make u relax, so play it the way that u feel comfortable.

[atlantisonearth]

Never fear. There are so many other people who want to be neighbours that if someone deletes you or you delete someone you will never have a lack of new neighbours.

...and this, everyone, is how to take your neighbors for granted, which may lead to offense.

(Not singling you out bobyrae :))

[sourlicorice2]

What are some other ways to not offend others? I would die if I was waking my poor neighbors out of there sleep.

I play on my iPad. I turn it off when I'm not using it so can't get woken up. If they don't want to get woken up they can turn the notifications off while sleeping. I wouldn't worry about it.

[sourlicorice2]

I only post through the week if nbrs have posted on my wall otherwise I tip but don't post. I don't care if nbrs don't post or not. If they r returning the of tipping now and then it's all good :-)

[3squares]

Choose the game strategy which best suits YOU. You will accumulate neighbors that either game the same way or are tolerant of your methods.

I try my level best to post on walls when I tip, but this is for MY advantage, not the person whose wall gets the message. Posting on the wall makes it more likely they will tip you back, as the list under messages only shows the last ten tippers.

It is likely impossible to avoid offending ANYONE. You'd have to be invisible and mute.

.

[klaatoo]

Personally it offends me when players tip rating is zero - they get deleted, spoiled food and full tables so I can't tip(c'mon add a few more for tips!).
I tip and gift and answer requests to all my neighbours (3-4 star rating only). I removed all my 0,1 & 2 star neighbours and halved the time I spend on tipping etc, it was a tough decision to make and at first I felt a little guilty but I can be a better neighbour to those that remain.

[flowless]

Personally it offends me when players tip rating is zero - they get deleted, spoiled food and full tables so I can't tip(c'mon add a few more for tips!).
I tip and gift and answer requests to all my neighbours (3-4 star rating only). I removed all my 0,1 & 2 star neighbours and halved the time I spend on tipping etc, it was a tough decision to make and at first I felt a little guilty but I can be a better neighbour to those that remain.

i was like that a year ago

however with time i very rarely tip
gift every day
keep my tables full and clear them if i tipped all who tipped
i have many zero rating stars that are active sending me requests or gifts
and iam more than fine with it

u cant have a rule for what is offending
all add people would play like u do and delete thoses who dont

[klaatoo]

i was like that a year ago

however with time i very rarely tip
gift every day
keep my tables full and clear them if i tipped all who tipped
i have many zero rating stars that are active sending me requests or gifts
and iam more than fine with it

u cant have a rule for what is offending
all add people would play like u do and delete thoses who dont

"offends me" is probably too strong a statement, let me say I prefer to have neighbours who tip! I expect with time the way I play will evolve too!

[SmokeyMtnGirl]

Sometimes I post on walls. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I leave a silly comment to joke around. There is a lot of people having a hard time right now and you never know what others are dealing with. Pops1972 I wouldn't worry about waking people up. They don't have to have the notifications on. And if my iPad is in the bedroom that little ding doesn't wake me up. Or if it does I go right back to sleep. 

[SmokeyMtnGirl]

i was like that a year ago

however with time i very rarely tip
gift every day
keep my tables full and clear them if i tipped all who tipped
i have many zero rating stars that are active sending me requests or gifts
and iam more than fine with it

u cant have a rule for what is offending
all add people would play like u do and delete thoses who dont

I agree. Like I said you don't know what is going on in someone's life. They may be dealing with a lot. And I don't think it's fair for no one to play with them or be a neighbor because they are below a 3 rating. But that's just me and everyone can be friends/neon Ora with whomever they want. :)

[SmokeyMtnGirl]

I agree. Like I said you don't know what is going on in someone's life. They may be dealing with a lot. And I don't think it's fair for no one to play with them or be a neighbor because they are below a 3 rating. But that's just me and everyone can be friends/neon Ora with whomever they want. :)

Friends/Neighbors I DID NOT type neon ora whatever that is. I hate autocorrect!!!

[viviansmo]

Lol...I was wondering what a neon Ora was!
But that's why I usually wait a very long time before deleting inactive neighbors (and I don't care about star rating, just if they are obviously no longer playing). I had one neighbor who was very active suddenly quit playing for a few weeks. Turns out her husband had passed away. She's playing again now, and I'm glad i waited for her.

[pops1972]

You guys are great. That was when decline looked like reject neighbor and edit seemed hurtful. The game is much funner for everyone when you keep a manageable number of neighbors and are enjoying the game. Thanks everyone :-)

[slackananda]

I don't find it necessary to write on walls when tipping, and I can't understand why someone would be offended if this is not done. If you miss that I tipped on your news feed, you still got my tips, right? 120 coins and 6 XP, you are welcome! :) Of course, I do like to post because I like to get tips back.

It is a good courtesy to remember what gifts neighbors like, but I don't understand why people complain about gifts. Just decline.... I've decided plenty of times not to gift at all rather than risk 'offending' with the wrong gift. "I don't need food, only send parts!" I love neighbors who say, "send me anything, thank you!" (That is my philosophy....)

I don't think there is anything wrong with deleting any neighbor at any time for any reason. Of course, the more personal history in terms of interaction, the more this changes. It's a game, not Facebook. On the other hand, I have some friends I talk to quite a bit on a personal level and I would be hurt (not offended) if they were to suddenly drop me.

I will wind up by saying one thing that *does* offend me: posting an "add me" request without even tipping!

Oh, and one more thing, people in the game to chat and socialize who don't even cook or serve food. Play Restaurant, I want to scream! How hard is it to put Roast Chicken on and unblock your door every other day?

Even in these last two instances, no point in getting worked up about it. Play Restaurant, have fun!

[klaatoo]

I will wind up by saying one thing that *does* offend me: posting an "add me" request without even tipping!

I got an "add me" with a list of parts specified without even a please or a thank you! Manners cost nothing as the saying goes....

Thanks for reading!

[pastrychef17]

I will wind up by saying one thing that *does* offend me: posting an "add me" request without even tipping!

I got an "add me" with a list of parts specified without even a please or a thank you! Manners cost nothing as the saying goes....



LOL, I got one of those too. But the person didn't even leave their storm ID so I'm not sure they knew how the game works, even though they knew which parts they wanted me to send them.

One thing that, while I wouldn't call it offensive, and I'm not offended by it in any way, but I do wish people would stop sending invites unless someone posts recently on the Add Me forum that they're looking for neighbors. I know they can send invites because we all have to register and post on the forum with our storm ID but I'm not looking for neighbors and I get several neighbor requests every day that I have to decline. The majority of them don't tip so I can't even visit them back so I just decline. I have on my wall that I'm not adding new neighbors but most people don't read that, judging by the "add me" posts right above my post saying I'm not adding neighbors.

[pinkster73]

LOL, I got one of those too. But the person didn't even leave their storm ID so I'm not sure they knew how the game works, even though they knew which parts they wanted me to send them.

One thing that, while I wouldn't call it offensive, and I'm not offended by it in any way, but I do wish people would stop sending invites unless someone posts recently on the Add Me forum that they're looking for neighbors. I know they can send invites because we all have to register and post on the forum with our storm ID but I'm not looking for neighbors and I get several neighbor requests every day that I have to decline. The majority of them don't tip so I can't even visit them back so I just decline. I have on my wall that I'm not adding new neighbors but most people don't read that, judging by the "add me" posts right above my post saying I'm not adding neighbors.

Add me.

Just kidding :)

(Please no one invite me)

[pastrychef17]

Add me.

Just kidding :)

(Please no one invite me)

Just for that, I'd send you an invite, NOT tip you and put a bunch of exclamation points on your wall telling you to tip me ;). LOL!

[pinkster73]

Just for that, I'd send you an invite, NOT tip you and put a bunch of exclamation points on your wall telling you to tip me ;). LOL!

Gack nooooooo!!!!!!

[3squares]

I, too, hate it when people just say, "add me". It's a demand, and it's rude. "Please" really IS the magic word.
.

[klaatoo]

I, too, hate it when people just say, "add me". It's a demand, and it's rude. "Please" really IS the magic word.
.

or even pls or plz!

[slackananda]

I find "add me" posts to be generally annoying as well. I like it when people tip and post that they have done so. I tip and post back and when I see them come by and tip for the next few days I know someone would make a good neighbor.

If someone posts their ID, I like when they say, "add me if you want." It's way of saying they would like to be neighbors while indicating they understand if it doesn't happen.

If I see someone I would like to be neighbors with I try to start a conversation about something minor but noteworthy. If we trade a few comments I will ask to please consider adding me. I think people appreciate a prospective neighbor who is interested in them, and not just posting "add me" on every wall they can find.

New topic: What do you think about "poaching" (for lack of better term...) players off of other players walls? In other words, players finding random resto's from walls rather than the "comunity" tab. Sometimes when I am making my rounds I see the same "add me" post I got on the walls of my friends who had posted earlier on mine. I don't have an opinion of this practice myself, but I am inclined to avoid it. If I make a great new neighbor I do not immediately set out to be neighbors with their neighbors as well.

On the other hand, when one meets a good neighbor, it is more likely that their neighbors would be good, compared to the average random Resto. I am 41 and have all sorts of neighbors, but am most interested in adding other adults who can trade repartee and jokes. The best place to find them is on the walls of other such people, of course.....

In conclusion, I would say that I feel comfortable with this practice in moderation. i.e. no more than one off any one persons wall in any given day.....

[viviansmo]

New topic: What do you think about "poaching" (for lack of better term...) players off of other players walls? In other words, players finding random resto's from walls rather than the "comunity" tab.

Interesting. I poach. sometimes. Poached fish is okay but I especially love poached eggs. Oh, wait, not that kind of poaching...

no, really, I have poached neighbors before. If I run across another Vivian or Vivi on a neighbor's wall (and, let's be honest, it has to be within a few posts of my own or I won't have noticed it), I'll start watering their farm. If they water back and we end up being regulars, I'll ask them to add me. Because I collect Vivian neighbors; I have 5 now. :p

sometimes I'll notice another forum member or another farm-art farmer on a neighbor's wall and will go water their farm because I sort-of know them, but I don't ask to be neighbors because I also know we're all pretty full.

And then there are people who make amusing comments... the other day I saw someone begging our mutual neighbor for water so they could look "popular" in front of their kids (it was obviously a joke), so I watered their farm and commented that I was helping in their popularity quest. If this person and I start watering each other regularly, we may become ngeighbors, too... who knows.

but as a regular practice, no, I wouldn't seek out neighbors' neighbors.

[kooky panda]

I have been poached before!!!lol

[pops1972]

I have poached neighbors. Let's be honest, some neighbors are fun and interesting. I expect others to poach from me. I leave adds on my wall because they are adds. And I was under the impression that my wall was like a billboard.
In the beginning I would read other peoples walls to try to figure out what was appropriate or inappropriate to post on a wall. Never texted or surfed the net. Now I do not wish to read other walls. That may come across as snooping.
My tables have xxxx's and oooo's. Would it be appropriate to post xxxxoooo on walls of my good friends?

[pinkster73]

I have poached neighbors. Let's be honest, some neighbors are fun and interesting. I expect others to poach from me. I leave adds on my wall because they are adds. And I was under the impression that my wall was like a billboard.
In the beginning I would read other peoples walls to try to figure out what was appropriate or inappropriate to post on a wall. Never texted or surfed the net. Now I do not wish to read other walls. That may come across as snooping.
My tables have xxxx's and oooo's. Would it be appropriate to post xxxxoooo on walls of my good friends?


I think there's nothing wrong with snooping at walls. They are public. That being said I don't do it because its a time thing. But I would.

[pops1972]

I think there's nothing wrong with snooping at walls. They are public. That being said I don't do it because its a time thing. But I would.
ha ha. Sometimes we don't want too but just can't resist! :-)

[pinkster73]

ha ha. Sometimes we don't want too but just can't resist! :-)

I'm so snoopy. In real life too :). And I can admit it

[pops1972]

http://i1151.photobucket.com/albums/o627/lilolady123/bakery_story-2012-02-17-05-46-26.png
See the tables. Xxxx's & oooo's. Would it be appropriate to post xxxx's and oooo's on the walls of my good neighbors? No guys though, sorry iusedtobedisguser.

[viviansmo]

oh, I totally snoop. it's part of my job as a data analyst and even more so as a mother, you know...
but when I'm playing Farm, I don't have time to sit and read everyone's walls. Only a post or two below mine or if something catches my interest. :)

[slackananda]

I don't think reading walls is snooping, but that's a funny way of putting it! I look at the walls of prospective neighbors to see if there is more activity than just "t6." I also leave some comments up on my wall for others to see if they wish to get an idea of what kind of player I am. (Resto player, that is! :))

[viviansmo]

See the tables. Xxxx's & oooo's. Would it be appropriate to post xxxx's and oooo's on the walls of my good neighbors? No guys though, sorry iusedtobedisguser.
I often post emoji hearts, the little smilie face that kisses a heart, etc, on my neighbors' walls. x's and o's seem perfectly fine to post.

[pops1972]

I often post emoji hearts, the little smilie face that kisses a heart, etc, on my neighbors' walls. x's and o's seem perfectly fine to post.

I can't see emojis. Android. . . . I'll go for it, though. Thank you! :-)

[queentina3]

I never leave messages on my wall long enough for anyone to poach. LOL!!! I tend to work from my wall and news feed when tipping back or gifting, if I hadn't already done it that day, and once I've done someone I remove them from my wall so I don't attempt to do them again. Plus I like my message near the top, as I'm getting sick of neighbors sending me french toast and hope they'll one day read my wall and see I don't want that. hehehe

I do read my neighbors wall, but as a quick scan looking for my actual neighbors post to see if they want a specific gift that day. Sometimes I come along a comment that stops me and I just HAVE to read it, as it's funny and if I'm having a bad day it cheers me up. One time me and a neighbor were having a conversation back and forth on our walls and we both got distracted. Since we both delete prior messages, we forgot what we were talking about. LMAO, it was so funny. We just started a new convo and never did recall the original one. :p

[sweetcalifornia]

I'm so snoopy. In real life too :). And I can admit it

Lol.... U have me laughing.

[pops1972]

I never leave messages on my wall long enough for anyone to poach. LOL!!! I tend to work from my wall and news feed when tipping back or gifting, if I hadn't already done it that day, and once I've done someone I remove them from my wall so I don't attempt to do them again. Plus I like my message near the top, as I'm getting sick of neighbors sending me french toast and hope they'll one day read my wall and see I don't want that. hehehe

I do read my neighbors wall, but as a quick scan looking for my actual neighbors post to see if they want a specific gift that day. Sometimes I come along a comment that stops me and I just HAVE to read it, as it's funny and if I'm having a bad day it cheers me up. One time me and a neighbor were having a conversation back and forth on our walls and we both got distracted. Since we both delete prior messages, we forgot what we were talking about. LMAO, it was so funny. We just started a new convo and never did recall the original one. :p
tee hee that's funny! Some times my neighbor post really personal stuff like medical procedures or missing their child's birthday. I delete those to spare them from feeling embarrassed the next day. I also delete their names and locations. I don't feel comfortable asking them to delete mine though. Just incase they forget or get distracted. I wouldn't want them to feel bad.

[slackananda]

Funny story, Queen Tina! Sometimes I get comments back from posts from the previous day like, "That is so true!" and I find myself wondering exactly what it was that is so true....

If comments did not expire (get pushed off the bottom of the wall) I would probably leave a lot more of them up. I delete as aggressively as I can as I go along because I do have some I want to save and I hate losing them when I lose track of the number of posts while having a monster conversation.....